Non-Jews are for practice
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
