i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize