i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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