Swine flu. Run for my life!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
