What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
