I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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