My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
