Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
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