never play flip cup with pint glasses
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
