I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
