as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
