areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
