He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
