The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
handjob tips. give me some.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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