it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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