He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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