Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
