i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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