I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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