this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
