so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
