ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
