i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
