JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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