the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
