C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
