Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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