You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
