I have demons in me.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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