you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
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So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
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Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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