I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
