sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
