Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Randomize
