i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
