you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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