I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
