she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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