summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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