i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
being pregnant is like rehab
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.