at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
