Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
