When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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