Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
