i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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