Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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