That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
