What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
