Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
