I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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