It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
