I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
