Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap