How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Send help, water and tortillas.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
