the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just found a bag of teeth...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
