with your own penis?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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