There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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