Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
