I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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