you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
