I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
