Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
