dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
