Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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