I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
